Monday, January 29, 2007

Baby Producing Machines ?

Japan has always topped the list of countries with the least of back problems among its inhibitants.This is indeed remarkable considering the robotic amount of time an average Japanese spends at the workplace. The clue to this remarkable mystery lies in the hierarchical structure of the Japanese society.

The Japanese son always bows in front of the Japanese father everytime they meet. The Japanese father in turn always bows in front of the Japanese grand-father everytime they meet. The Japanese grand-father in turn always bows in front of the Japanese great-grandpa's photograph everytime he looks at the wall.

In short, to maintain the hierarchy the Japanese folks require to bow at each other everytime their paths crossed. Since the Japanese are also known to be very courteous, the person bowed at also bows back, except for the great grand-pa from the pictures. For this reason the "The Land of the Rising Sun" also earned the name of "The Land of the Bowing Sans".

It's no medical wonder that the constant exercise of tilting at 45 degrees angle around 20 times a day, keeps the back-pain far-far away. On an average a Japanese male spends a quarter of his life-time in bowing. Another half is spent at workplace inventing and perfecting the Sony TVs, Honda Cars for the benefit of the lazy US population. A half of the remaining quarter is spent in sleeping, eating, excreting and other essential routine jobs of a human life which Sony or Honda is still trying to automate without much success.

So overall there is hardly anytime left for reproducing future "Bowing Sans" who will carry on the traditional pyramidal hierarchy. Not to be daunted by the lack of time among the people the Japanese health minister Mr. Yanagisawa has devised the concept of the "baby producing machines". Despite the brilliant design, his baby churning assembly-line didn't meet the Kaizan standards of quality control and is sadly getting scrapped.

In a speech discussing Japan's falling birthrate, Yanagisawa on Jan. 27 said "the number of machines that produce babies is fixed, so each woman has to have more babies," according to the Asahi newspaper. [source]

Now whether the female population of Japan co-operates with Yanagisawa's grand scheme to work overtime in raising the sagging birthrates needs to be seen. But if they fail to agree with Yanagisawa san plans, I'm sure the scientists toiling days-n-nights across the Japanese labs will come up with the perfect baby producing machines that'll even put the Toyota assembly line to shame. Maybe in the coming years we see more of toddlers bowing at each-other across the length and width of all of the Nippon land.

Time for me to take a bow before signing off.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Long Time No See...Well here I am!!'s been a long time since I logged onto blogger. In case any kind soul is interested of what kept me away, the process of cleaning up the gathered pizza crumbs, ketchup stains and empty beer bottles while trying to untangle the cobwebs from a year gone by is never easy. And on top of it, I've been busy surfing the waves of lethargy that kept on crashing at my otherwise hectic work-shores. Overall life is good except for the recently acquirred habit of punching keys in the air.

When you need to reply to 800 odd sms-es from people known and unknown to counter-express your festive greetings of the season, you develop a habit of keying sms-es even in your sleep. But now I'm happy that Steve Jobbs must've heard of my symptoms and decided to gift humanity the keyless wonder-gadget called iPhone. Only problem is now my amazing skills of typing sms-es blindfold with one hand tied at the back will be lost. But since it's all about the progress of mankind, like a true benefactor of mankind I'll let my skills be trumpled under the wheels of civilization.

Speaking of the progress of mankind, we saw quite a few gaint strides in all spheres of life, especially politics and filmdom. Afterall when it comes to keep the TRP ratings of news channels soaring, there's no competition to the Neta-Abhineta pairs. So the year began by the extravagenza of Saddam Hussain's swan-song at the noose. Apparently George W. Bush who had never approved anything of Saddam, without any surprises expressed his dislike on the manner of the execution.

I guess he was expecting a couple of dancing cheerleaders over there. But as usual life is always unfair, all the aesthetically deprived Iraqi authorities could come up with is masked hangmen. So I hear Bush has unveiled a grand plan of sending more and more troops to impart the Iraqis with finer sense of doing things. However it came with a disclaimer that said the side effects might include missed missile, aeral bombing and mortar shells, all hitting the wrong targets.

About targets, the latest bull-eye that the journos hit recently is the marriage announcement of Jr. Bachchan with Ms. Rai. It took long and it took a few crore losses from benovalent producers before Ash was finally confirmed that her movie career is going no-where. As soon as that fact was established, all that the journos did was to fill up the dates in the final published version of their drafts. No wonder given the amount of time these drafts of were lying in the hard-disks of all major media offices, the coverage was such instantneous and such a hit.

Let me wish the couple make a more successful pair in their real life than what it had been in their reel life. And one more word of gratitude to the Bachchans when they persuaded the Chopras to pull out the kiss scence from Dhoom2. Now if they can shelve the prints of all her plastic doll potrayal that would be pure nirvana. But since keeping in tradition of Adarsh Bharatiya Naari busy managing her kitchen, Ash might spare the movie lovers from her wodden acting skills I will remain content with that.

Another recent spark of an Adarsh Bharatiya Naari who grabbed the world media bytes was our Churake-dil-mera girl Shilpa Shetty. Since the media and experts from Uzbeckistan to Uganda, Bolivia to Borivelli have already spoken about this issue, lemme not delve into it any further. However, in an age where the routine of trivialities being hyped and encashed was becoming stale, it's raises a lot of hope for the entrepreneur in me to see there are still takers for carefully manufactured baits.

Well that was whatever blog-worthy happenings during my absence here. With the waves of lethargy calling once again, time for me to catch my surf-board and run.