Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Flick a horrrror

Many many moons ago the predator was on the prowl amdist the dark alleys of the out-skirts of the City of Botham to infuse the innocent virgin with the blood-thirst that will create the situations for a 3 hour odd movie. Yes clever readers, as depicted in the mother of all horror movies, “Purani Haveli”, the background score was complete the obvious howls lifted from the original Ramsay sound-track.The municipal authorities had been kind enough not to repair the leaking pipes that added the dripping water effect to the chill and suspense. Although it might be summer time but the set designer was resourceful enough to find truckload of dried leaves to be blown all over the set by the big pedestral fan. Being restricted by the meagre budget and not at their creativity the designer team had hung tar-coated gunny bags as the back-drop to be completed with flickering tiny bulbs that would create the vision of a starry night. The stench from the tar was strongly nauseous, but the intellegent director realised that due to limitations of the medium the viewers won't be rewarded with the sensation of this smell. So he asked the scriptwriters to add enough dialogues to make the audience puke their guts out. After immense satisfaction on the couch during the casting priliminaries the producer had made it clear to the costume department that the upcoming item number girl would get enough exposure to show her silicon talents before being killed on the screen. So the dress designer [famous for her eye for details] was herself scruntinising the blade-works by her two assitants on the skimpy tank-top were deep enough or not. Satisfied with her ingenuity the director finally rested his creative fat ass on the chair to call the shots only to realise minutes later that the missing part that was bothering him for so long was actually the sanity of the script itself. Brooding over for a moment he smiled at the conclusion that all great artwork dazzle the viewers of the inherent mere flaws. Did anyone notice the missing eyebrows on the smiling Mona Lisa ?

And then he shouted "LIGHTS...CAMERA...ACTION".

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