Sin at Sabarimala

Everytime a movie plot gets twisted and tangled beyond the scriptwriter's ability to untie the knots, Bollywood has always looked upwards for a divine intervention. An andhi-toofan-wali raat is brought to life by pedestal fans blowing mighty air accompanied by the same lifted footage of thunder tearing apart the black screen. The mother of all Hindi filmi mothers, the one and only Ms. Nirupa Roy runs to the temple to cry for justice at the lord's feet. She hits the bells and unleashes her dukh-bhari kahani soaked in adequate glycerine before falling down unconscious in front the idol. Even the zooming camera gets sentimental and jerks up and down adding to the dramatic effect as the temple bells go tong-tong-tong. I love these chiming bells, as they are a harbinger of the impeding doom for the villain, whose balls are soon to be crushed.

But sadly the censor board have decided to dig up the national film archives to run a scissor on all these scenes citing that the temple authorities had realised that this violates our age-old tradition of not allowing women in temple. And a reliable source from I-n-B ministry said that the Mr. Priyaranjan Dasmunshi will be issuing soon a dictate to all the filmmakers not to depict any woman inside the temple as it might hurt our deep-rooted religious sentiments.

The minister who is currently on an official visit to Germany for upliftment of Indian soccer standards by importing samba dancers to boost sagging confidence of national football heroes could not be contacted for a comment.

UPDATE: After a thorough study of script and scriptures the Film Association have argued that the roles portrayed by Nirupa Roy was well past the age where a woman has no use of mere earthly possesion like tampons. The temple authorities were happy to know that their holiness stands intact and the censor board decided to give the scissors a rest. All's well that ends well.