Monday, December 11, 2006

Youth Curry to Miss Its Spice

We, the Hindus, are the most creative people on this goddamn earth and heaven. Even before the population of the earth reached this figure, we created the whole set of 33 crores gods just to make the lives of future mythologists miserable.

To celebrate our penchant for creativity we worship the biggest symbol of creativity : The Divine Phallus fornicating with the Divine Vagina. This image is otherwise known as Shiva-Lingam and seen in many mandirs across the length and breadth of the country.

Some creative smart-ass in JAM magazine had used the image of a Shiva-Lingam to pass on the following message on The World Aids Day : "Khada ho to Condom Chahiye" [ie. If it's erect you need a condom].

You must be smiling that muchki (mischevious for non-Bongs) smile and thinking to yourself what's so offensive about it. Allow me list down the top reasons that hit my creative mind immediately.

1. You are trying to choke up the very essence of creativity with a wrapping of latex. Have you ever wondered what will happen if the pressure building up inside ever burst out ? That's more than enough to bring the world to perils, you silly non-believer.

2. Where is the sensivity towards the erection-challenged folks you creative moron ? After all Manmohan and Arjun that tries their best not to chuck-off the minorities from any of national activities. Next time try to keep the entire population in mind while sending out anti-aids message or be prepared to face the minority wrath.

3. For a moment leave aside national pride and try to consider
the report on exported latex malfunction in Indian sub-continent conditions to be true. Then this seems to be another hatched conspiracy to demean the length and breath of our much worshipped divine phallus.

4. Don't preach something that is not 100% statiscally accurate without accompanying fine print to detail out the exceptions. Ask any guy who has vented his carnal desires with his own hands(ie. musterbated). You'll come to know only an erection doesnot gaurantee usage of the rubber.

Sadly these pearls of creative wisdom were not present in the jewellery set of the JAM editor. In a light-hearted humor she allowed the ad to be printed that offended people belonging to the above categories. Pretty soon someone took this matter to higher authorities saying that their precious fragile sentiments have been hurt.

When sentiments are hurt, it's a No-Mercy policy in India. Afterall we are a sentimental nation yaar...try playing with our sentiments and we'll burn the trains, pull down the statues until you do something to get our sentiments back to its intact state. Hardly left with any other choices, facing a non-bailable warrant, all Rashmi Bansal could do is to go under-the-ground in a Sita like effort to prove her innocence.

I'm hoping sooner or later she will be unearthed to her innocent glory. Whatever be the case, JAM has surely lost the "Just Another" epithet. Now it's more of a "Trust Another" Magazine till the editor returns back to her editing desk. Waiting for the spice in the Youth Curry to come back.

Update: She's back and blogging with a vengence while we Indians continue to appreciate our creativity by bowing in front of the Divine Phallus and doing our share of what is required to become the most populous country in the whole world.


Anonymous said...

I think of all your writings, you do humour the best.

Bishu said...

That's really encouraging for my life-time ambition to become the stand-up comedian :) A merry Xmas and a Happy new year.

iamsayan said...

he he , good one , it's sad state of affairs though

Bishu said...

Sad indeed!! I can understand "Freedom of expression" but what baffles me is "Freedom of Stupidity".