Monday, April 10, 2006

Maine Shikar Kyun Kiya

Indian Justice strikes its thunder at the right spot again.This time it's the naughty boy from Bollywood our own Main-To-Expose-Karunga-Censor-Se-Nahin-Darunga Sallu who gets a five years imprisonment sentence for killing a black buck.Incidentally this case which started from 1998 had a list of 43 witnesses of which 38 came for their testimony in the court.

Since I was following the proceedings of the case with all the attention of the world lemme give you the horse's (err deer's ) mouth account of what really happened inside the Jodhpur court :

Sarkaari wakil started his logic,"Your honor...yeh ekdum paani ke tarah saaf hain ke mulzim Salman Khan ne hi us lachar baad kismaat janwaar ko maara tha. Hamare pass 43 gawah hain jinhone jhadiwon ke peeche apne ankhon se mulzim ko trigger dabate dekha hain."

The defence counsel being from Mumbai and ignorant of rural ways of life argued : "Your honor ,it's a conspiracy against my client ...nahin to jhadiwon ke beech itne saare gao-waalon usi time main kaar kya raha tha ?"

To which his learned friend said : "Mumbai ke alishan banglow main rahene wale mere dost ko sayed yeh malum nahin ke subah subah gaon main log jhadiwon ke peeche kya karte hain"

Defence Counsel grabbing the fact like Dhoni jumping on another Kumble off-break shouted: "I object your honor.....How can people in that postion confirm whether it was my client who killed the buck ?"

Then he calls one witness and asks him to tell the court of where and how he was s(h)itting on that fateful day and concludes ..."Your Honor saaf zahir hain s(h)itting at this posture you cannot see what is happening at 500 ft and that too with so less light of the morning that Rahul Dravid surely would have appealed for a bad light."

Sarkari wakil adjusting his specs gives a U-must-be-Silly look at his counterpart and says
"The usage of organ for excretion does not cause any temporary defect of vision.And as per the lights are concerned.I can prove that by bringing expert evidence of about 100 jhodpi-walas from Mumbai who by the virtue of their daily morning yoga routine by the railway track and not getting hit by a train for a single time have collected sufficient medical data about the non co-relation between these two organs even in the morning dim lights"

Judge-saab remembering the last time he went to Mumbai by train shudders at the thought of going through that ordeal once again and immediately hammers "OBJECTION OVER-RULED."

And after that it was an OPEN-AND-SHUT case which finally saw justice delivered at the death of the BLACK BUCK.

Incidentally the sceptics are asking "How come Salman gets 5 years for killing a deer and only 500 rupees for knocking down man ?"

Well,well my ignorant friends when will you realise that over the years due to Maneka Gandhi and PETA's Let Us Wear Bikinis Instead of Fur Coats protests the Indian justice system came to realise a long time back that footpath-wallahs are of little value when compared to the four legged ones.

On another note only 8 of these 38 witnesses turned hostile (means only 8 agreed to do a full paalti on receipt of a Salman Khan Dare-to-Bare poster autographed by the star himself and a good amount of money).

I wonder can't we have the same situation for Jessica Laal's case too ?


kumbhokarno said...

Sallu bhaya srighor giye amaar rasta saaf kore diye gechen- Katrina-r upor bohudiner byatha amaar. Ektu bibechona kore bolun to bishubabu amaar chance aache ki na ?

Bishu said...

Kumbho ekhunii bola muskil...premik sobe jaile geche to....bhulte ar ektu somoy laagbe.Tobe ekta ashar kotha janai Katrina-r haathe du-duto mobile.
Ekta to bujhlam Salman Khan-r jonyo kintu onyo-ta ?